June 8, 2023
You Can Have a Work Life Balance and Still be Hardworking
One of the hardest lessons I have learned as a young lawyer is the importance of having a work life balance. Let’s face it, attorneys are competitive by nature. We argue for a living. We always want to win, and we want to be the best. We spent years in school to get to where we are today. For most of us, that entailed many sleepless nights studying and having our lives revolve around our education and career goals for as long as we could remember. I know I cannot be the only one who looked forward to the day that I would graduate from law school, pass the bar exam, and finally start working. I honestly thought after all of that, I wouldn’t be nearly as stressed anymore. However, I soon realized that was not the case by any means.
When I graduated from law school and passed the bar exam, I went back to my small hometown in Southwest Virginia to practice law. I chose to do so not only because I loved my hometown and the people there, but also because I thought working at a small firm in a small town would be less stressful than working at a large firm in a city. During my first six months of practice, I found myself often working through lunch, staying late at the office, taking work home with me, responding to emails at all hours of the night, checking my email on the weekends, and never taking a day off. Eventually, I was burnt out and my mental health was at an all-time low. I sometimes dreaded the thought of going into work, which was absurd considering I was doing exactly what I had wanted to do since I was a little girl. How could it be that I had finally achieved one of my lifelong goals, but I was still extremely stressed out and ultimately unhappy? I realized through therapy that I needed to establish a better work life balance.
At that point, I made the conscious decision to eat lunch every day, stop taking work home with me, not respond to emails after work, stop checking my email on the weekends, and use my vacation days. This was not an easy task for me as I was afraid that I would no longer be described as “hardworking,” which is something I always took pride in. I eventually changed the settings in my phone so that I would not receive work email notifications in an effort to not be tempted to work during my personal time. I also discussed my struggle with my boss, and he was more than understanding. He even went to the extent of allowing me to work remotely each Friday and have one mental health day per quarter. As time went on, all of these changes helped me tremendously. Establishing a healthy work life balance allowed me to truly enjoy my job and feel better as a person overall.
My personal life eventually led me to apply for a job at a firm in a nearby city. I was hesitant about applying for the position because it was in the city, and I was happy at my current job. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to have the same type of work life balance there. During my interview, I was upfront about my desire to continue having a work life balance and inquired as to what it would be like there. To my surprise, that firm also understood and respected the need for having a work life balance. I was ultimately offered the position and accepted it. Once I started the new job, I struggled to make sure that I didn’t fall back into my old bad habits because I wanted to do my best, make a good impression, and continue to be seen as “hardworking.” However, I had to force myself from day one to take a lunch break every day, not work during my personal time, and not stay late at the office. I can honestly say it is still hard to set those boundaries with myself sometimes, but it is ultimately worth it and having people around me who support me in that decision makes it a lot easier.
I know that sometimes things come up where you may be on a deadline, and it may be necessary to take work home or stay late at the office. Things happen every now and then, and that is okay as long as you are not making it a habit. As young lawyers, we want to be successful, and success usually comes with hard work. However, I am here to tell you that you can have a work life balance and still be hardworking. If you already have a good work life balance, keep doing what you’re doing. If you do not have a good work life balance, I encourage you to set boundaries in order to establish one before you feel burnt out. I also encourage you to be open with your employer about your need for a better work life balance. If your employer is not understanding, please know that there are other employers out there who do understand the importance of having a work life balance. Once you have a good work life balance, everything else will fall into place and success will come.